I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it glows. i had to have it.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.