sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?