I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.