i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now