his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.