his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.