I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.