Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.