i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?