Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.