she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.