she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.