Texts From Last Night · dearhillary's Favorites

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dearhillary's Favorites Texts:

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.

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(917): View more from New York City

Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.

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(208): View more from Idaho

They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"

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