There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.