Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole