I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.