For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce