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My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
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