There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick