so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.