so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.