Texts From Last Night

ShinkuEX's Favorites Texts:

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.

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  (601): I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents. http://tfl.nu/vupc
  Replies (17) Good night (2592) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie

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  (612): Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie http://tfl.nu/901f
  Replies (3) Good night (2349) Bad night (680)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....

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  (802): think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight.... http://tfl.nu/1kod
  Replies (9) Good night (839) Bad night (1334) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.

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  (713): On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day. http://tfl.nu/dyk5
  Replies (11) Good night (941) Bad night (1618)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"

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  (740): He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work" http://tfl.nu/lj9u
  Replies (6) Good night (3444) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.

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  (440): I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan. http://tfl.nu/ypf4
  Replies (9) Good night (1978) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes

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  (215): i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes http://tfl.nu/91ws
  Replies (19) Good night (1164) Bad night (2320) Order T-Shirt