Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.