Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.