Quick, to the slutcave!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.