He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza