just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.