swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.