Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
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does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."