Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."