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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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