Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.