your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
the raccoons are back...
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