i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.