No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
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As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The beers last night were like the tears from god