Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn