Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn