she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain