drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.