drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine