you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.