One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This is the high leading the old right now
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.