is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.