mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I take back everything I said about communal showers