you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
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Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.