Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (607)

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  (607): View more from New York

  you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY

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  (607): you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY http://tfl.nu/h6do
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  (607): View more from New York

  she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.

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  (607): she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet. http://tfl.nu/uotm
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  (607): View more from New York

  How was dinner with ur grandparents?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

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  (607): How was dinner with ur grandparents? (1-607) I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana." http://tfl.nu/9nup
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  He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges

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  (607): He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges http://tfl.nu/3nw2
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  (607): View more from New York

  i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.

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  (607): i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady. http://tfl.nu/6072
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  (607): View more from New York

  Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.

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  (607): Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave. http://tfl.nu/8ei2
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  I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.

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  (607): I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that. http://tfl.nu/9hhk
  Replies (28) Good night (357) Bad night (4874)
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  (607): View more from New York

  i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?

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  (607): i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life? http://tfl.nu/2cyx
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  Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned

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  (607): Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned http://tfl.nu/r5xe
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  (607): View more from New York

  so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.

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  (607): so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class. http://tfl.nu/dhq5
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  (607): View more from New York

  then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"

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  (607): then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother" http://tfl.nu/te5y
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  please dont tell anyone i was drunk

  (1-607): View more from New York

  you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know

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  (607): please dont tell anyone i was drunk (1-607): you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know http://tfl.nu/3807
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  (727): View more from Florida

  singing on the bus should be illegal

  (607): View more from New York

  huh?

  (727): View more from Florida

  There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down

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  (727): singing on the bus should be illegal (607): huh? (727): There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down http://tfl.nu/vlmd
  Replies (58) Good night (739) Bad night (3852)
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  (607): View more from New York

  he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.

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  (607): he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom. http://tfl.nu/mpyr
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  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.

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  (607): I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo. http://tfl.nu/qxrp
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