Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (607)

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  I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.

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  (607): I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no. http://tfl.nu/p7ft
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  There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.

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  (607): There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober. http://tfl.nu/pncu
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  This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.

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  (607): This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart. http://tfl.nu/peyr
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  Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?

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  Nevermind, it's in the dryer.

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  (607): Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head? (607): Nevermind, it's in the dryer. http://tfl.nu/r8jx
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  Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked

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  (607): Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked http://tfl.nu/f67s
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  just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

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  (607): just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school. http://tfl.nu/1unl
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  i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th

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  (607): i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th http://tfl.nu/g8vn
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  I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.

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  (607): I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/vi3x
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  I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.

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  (607): I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson. http://tfl.nu/gvkr
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  I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.

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  (607): I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength. http://tfl.nu/np75
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  My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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  (607): My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good. http://tfl.nu/t7su
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  no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.

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  (607): no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not. http://tfl.nu/m099
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  Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner

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  (607): Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner http://tfl.nu/msbx
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  Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?

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  (607): Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be? http://tfl.nu/nsuv
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  You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick

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  (607): You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick http://tfl.nu/kpxh
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