She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.