I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
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Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"