U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
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We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.