Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maine (207)

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  You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.

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  (207): You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee. http://tfl.nu/mtea
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  at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally

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  (207): at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally http://tfl.nu/d50n
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  I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.

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  (207): I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole. http://tfl.nu/al7a
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  No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.

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  (207): No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better. http://tfl.nu/mlps
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  There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

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  OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

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  Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

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  (207): There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself (207): OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE (781): Sounds like a good blink 182 concert... http://tfl.nu/nai8
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  i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship

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  (207): i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship http://tfl.nu/kphu
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  I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.

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  (207): I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy. http://tfl.nu/9ve4
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  I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.

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  (207): I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/g4gg
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  No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.

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  (207): No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have. http://tfl.nu/1nc6
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  she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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  (207): she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race http://tfl.nu/f3bd
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  Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????

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  (207): Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport???? http://tfl.nu/yffg
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  she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.

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  (207): she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait. http://tfl.nu/lngn
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  i will never coherently bang her

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  (207): i will never coherently bang her http://tfl.nu/z0d8
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  I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.

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  (207): I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off. http://tfl.nu/j6re
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  I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.

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  (207): I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over. http://tfl.nu/vji8
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