He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?