Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (937)

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  The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.

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  (937): The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it. http://tfl.nu/hbg0
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  she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.

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  (937): she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks. http://tfl.nu/kgtb
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  Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?

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  (937): Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship? http://tfl.nu/9ufc
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  A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.

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  (937): A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining. http://tfl.nu/4mc3
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  it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics

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  (937): it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics http://tfl.nu/vrre
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  And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.

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  (937): And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/r7zp
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  I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?

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  (937): I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality? http://tfl.nu/z0do
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  The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.

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  (937): The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull. http://tfl.nu/s2w2
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  That's science, my friend. Boner science.

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  (937): That's science, my friend. Boner science. http://tfl.nu/d39q
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  Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.

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  (937): Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault. http://tfl.nu/6aqr
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  The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.

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  (937): The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me. http://tfl.nu/27v8
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  She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.

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  (937): She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable. http://tfl.nu/xs8x
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  I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.

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  (937): I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge. http://tfl.nu/8lhz
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  She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.

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  (937): She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain. http://tfl.nu/rayu
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  She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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  (937): She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy http://tfl.nu/3zlc
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