I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
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It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.