I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'