Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.