I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex