I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway